Being A Better Man
This is the usual thing...I knew months ago I was going to blog this particular thing and had the whole thing worked out complete with a link to the appropriate reference and everything like that. But in the interim I shuffled some papers and actually did Number 3 (see below) and because of that I don't know where it is. So pat my head and call me Chester. There I go again.
But last fall the Chicago Tribune (yeah - like they really need the link) ran an article in the Sunday Magazine called something like "How To Be A Better Man" or maybe "20 Ways To be A Better Man" or some crap like that.
Well, being just the kind of moron that takes that kind of thing seriously I wrote down 11 of the things that at least seemed do-able (or maybe there were only 11 - either way get off my case) just so I could torment people I never met with how I'm doing so far once we get a little further down the line. And it comes out like this.
1. Have two pairs of glasses.Honest to God I don't know why they put this on the list and since I threw the article away I can't quote it. Something to do with work and fashion and play and fashion and having more than one personality I guess. I'm lucky in that my prescription didn't change so I get to keep my thin metal rims but I went and got these black rims for a second pair (Note to my wife... The picture to the left is not me - I would look like a cancer patient if I did that to my head). So I figure I handled thing One...
2. Have a secret talent - learn how to read a wine list.
Well now... I already had this to some degree so I figured this is pretty much done but, if I am to be honest compared to some people I can only read a wine list so far and then I'm lost. But I'm not so sure - that is I can't remember - if being able to read a wine list was the only thing you could have as a "secret talent." So I'm reading up on wine and developing a secret talent. Of course I can't tell you what that is because then... it wouldn't be... you know.
3. Get rid of clutter. Take all the junk you own, spread it out and throw away 75% of it - edit heavily.
Yeah. This is why I lost the article. Great.
4. Don't watch the evening news.
Ok I'm getting better at this. It's just that the theme music from The NewsHour is somehow evocative of the "perfect job for you" I memed a few years ago. I don't know how to explain it. Leave me alone.
5. "Gentleman's Retreat" Peninsula Hotel.
Yeah this one is likely. Excuse me Lynne, I'm off for a weekend at the Peninsula. What? No my reservation is for one. No, even though you've worked more hours than I have this week you can't go. No. You can't go. Hear me? You. Can't. Go. Oh yeah - that would be Ok....
6. Great shirt / blue jeans
Yeah the idea is that instead of wearing flannels and sweatshirts you've owned for twelve years, the next time you put on a pair of jeans take something out the closet you just had dry-cleaned. This is actually pretty good. I mean - yeah I see that. In fact I have been doing this. I wonder if that was why all those women kept following me home? Ya think?
7. Date night.
Ha! Already a long established tradition in this marriage! Meh-heh-heh. Beat you on that one, Mr. Listy.
8. Daily compliment.
Note to self - forgot this one. Get busy.
9. Hair cut once a month - Sunday is personal "clean up" day.
I get a haircut about once every three weeks and certainly take more than one shower a week. But, according to this I'm to let my hair go an extra week and save my showers for Sunday. Well..... Ok. If that's make me a better man...... so be it.
10. Take care of your feet.
I already have good feet. And because they are one of my better parts, I even grew a third one.
11. Vitamins
Ok yeah. I just started my "For Him 50+" and my Fish Oil capsules. Now this is dedication. I mean... have you ever opened a jar of Fish Oil capsules and took a whiff? This is SERIOUS. Big time.
So looking over this list but for a handful of things I'm already pretty much OK. But I'm going to keep going after it and report back when I get all 11 down to a "T".
I'm already seeing the benefits of taking one shower a week - the women in #6 have vanished. Add this to the fact that I don't have to tell anybody what talent I'm developing and hell - see how cool this is gonna be?
